The Films of 2010 - Part 3

SORCEROR'S APPRENTICE

… which is more than I can say for The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, a film I’ve already given an in-depth analysis on this site. A standard plot with gaping plot-holes, acting ranging from the very good Alfred Molina to the dreadful Jay Baruchel to the boring Nicolas Cage, who has actually given a performance worse than his performance in The Wicker Man remake. You know, the one were he gets in a bear suit and runs around an island punching lesbians and is killed by bees? Unbelievable, right? The Sorcerer’s Apprentice sorely reminded me of Percy Jackson, though there actually are redeeming qualities, such as the aforementioned Alfred Molina and the action’s very good. Harmless enough to watch, but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.

Rating: *****

INCEPTION

Every single critic from St. Petersburg to Sydney lined up to give this film a massive blowjob, and it’s not hard to see why. It’s a mainstream action film, as mainstream as you can get, but still original. Leonardo Di Caprio actually gives one of his best performances ever, a long way from his perpetual whining in Titanic and Romeo + Juliet, and he’s not the only good actor in the film. The plot is as complex and winding as a series of grapevines stuck in a washing machine and demands your constant attention to keep up, but the ticking time-bomb urgency this film gives off ensures that. And I will admit it, it’s a really good film, but I kept getting the feeling that we’ve been here before, and I’ll tell you why; The Matrix. Love it or hate it, you have to admit that what The Matrix brought to the table was new and exciting, whereas Inception hints at originality and does really clever things nobody has thought of before with what The Matrix brought, but has nothing new to bring. Is it a rip-off? No, but it reminds me of a child who saw a big kid wearing a leather jacket, and wore one too to show off to his friends while claiming that he never saw the other guy. No sir. The Matrix what now? Never heard of it. Speaking of which, have you seen my story? It’s got people entering deep sleeps and going into artificial worlds were anyone can be the enemy…

Rating: *******

THE OTHER GUYS

Will Ferrell… poor Will Ferrell… doomed to try out role after role, and no matter what he does, he will never find one as good as Ron Burgundy. He got such a good combination of annoying but funny, while in everything else without exclusion he's such a giant prick. Pity him. Pity him and Mark Walberg, both given average roles to play in an average buddy cop film... well, besides the fact that most buddy cop films make me want to claw my eyes out while The Other Guys made me laugh, walk out the cinema and forget what I just saw. It’s alright, but we aren’t talking The Naked Gun here. The good news is we aren’t talking about Police Academy either. A perfectly good film on its own merits, but put up next to any other film, it quivers shamefully as if it’s a cold day in the locker room. A good effort, but not going to make anybody’s jaws drop.

Rating: ******

SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD

Another film that I made clear of my opinion, and I stick by them. I called Four Lions the funniest film this year, and it is, but Scott Pilgrim is still really funny, and it has the best action scenes in any film of this year to boot, and it’s just as deep if not deeper than Four Lions. It says a lot about the human condition, and is uproariously funny. It’s a film so good, it makes Michael Ceria look like a really good actor. That’s insane. That’s like making eating a brick look like eating lobster thermidor, its madness. Still outshined by Ellen Wong and Kieran Culkin, but hey, baby steps. (EDIT: I kid, Ceria’s a better actor than people let on, and at least he isn’t Seth GODDAMMIT I HATE YOU Rogan) Is it Edger Wright’s best… well, I’d be lying if I said it was better than either Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz, but it’s still something he should be proud of. Best film of the year, and considering the competition from Kickass and Four Lions and the fact that Michael Ceria in a lead role, that’s amazing.

Rating: *********

THE EXPENDABLES

Oddly enough, this was the film that the entire internet decided was at war with Scott Pilgrim… why? Because they’re both action films? Yeah, but they’re different kinds of action films. The Expendables is supposed to be a great big homage to bad 80’s action flicks of the Stallone and Schwarzenegger flavour, and yet still be a gritty realistic and modern action film at the same time. Is it? No, of course not. It goes too far to the grim and gritty, and thus is kind of bland. It also tries to appeal to us by having Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Mickey Rouke, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger all in the same film. That’s a big sell. The problem? BRUCE WILLIS AND ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER DON’T DO ANYTHING!!! They’re cameos, and even then they don’t do any kind of action. YOU FOOLS!

These are my only real gripes. It’s an alright film, but generic as hell, a forgettable piece of filmmaking that isn’t bad in any way, but just… eh. Stallone, Li, Statham, Rouke, Willis and Schwarzenegger are all in better stuff. And on another note; The Expendables - stupid name. Expendable means that you really can do without it. I'd call rifles that didn't fire bullets but air expendable, not action heroes.

Rating: *****