Sean Stoakes Reviews:
The film I’ve decided to review is the 1973 film Wickerman directed by Robin Hardy and starring Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee. For those of you who don’t know the story Edward Woodward stars as the very religious Sergeant Howie who comes to the small island of Summerisle off the Scottish mainland to investigate the disappearance of a young girl called Rowan. Summerisle is peaceful with ‘friendly’ locals and has little to no contact with the mainland. He then goes around the island being shocked by the Pagan like traditions they practise. He then basically goes on to tell them what they believe is stupid bullshit and his views are right.
From the start of the film there is a very creepy vibe going on, and the locals of Summerisle do nothing but heighten this vibe, if I was Sergeant Howie I would have just kept my mouth shut, smiled politely and try not to be overwhelmed by fear of these locals. If they’re not leering at Sgt Howie from behind jars in a local shop, then these inbred dullards are mightily roaring songs down the pub. They are a lovely bunch down this pub with about 6 teeth to share between 8 people, as they guffaw some song ripe with sexual undertones.
Another main character is Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee) who seems pleasant enough but as its Christopher Lee we know he’s really the biggest badass on the island.
This film is constantly creepy and weird, in a good way, as an audience you only know as much as Sgt Howie and slowly but surely information bleeds through. As I watch the film I keep on asking why in god’s name Howie doesn’t just leave, there is clearly something wrong about this island. This is a problem with people who live in the country; there isn’t enough franchised coffee, neon signs or noise. There is too much tranquillity and it fucks with people’s minds, turning them in to gormless dribbling yokels. The suspense and tension just keeps building in this film, you end up almost begging Howie to leave and get away from this bunch of insane hicks. There is a strong sense of dread and a feeling shit’s going to hit the fan constantly in this film that never lets up.
I strongly recommend people see this film, with every watch you notice more weird stuff going on. It is by every definition a cult classic. The last 15 minutes of this film is some of the most suspenseful I’ve ever seen, you know something is going to go wrong and it transfixes you to the screen. As the credits role at the end of this film your mind will be blown. There are great performances by Lee and Woodward and it is superbly directed. If this film has one problem it’s that it’s really just a big build up to the last 20 minutes or so, so it can seem like it drags on. But honestly there’s so much weird shit going on you’ll hardly notice.
Right, now I shall briefly say my words on the remake. Released in 2006 and starring good ol’ Nicholas Cage as Edward Malus (the Sgt Howie character) it takes place somewhere in America. I don’t know why they had to set it in America, maybe because if they set it near Scotland some of the more idiotic yanks may think it’s a documentary. Actually I don’t really know why they had to remake it in the first place, the original is perfectly fine. It’s just another example of the film industry not being adventurous and decided to remake something just to gain some more money. This is why I endorse people by pirate DVD’s, don’t give good money to an industry that think’s your happy with some re-hashed film that’s often worse than the original.
This film is god awful; the acting is hammy and terrible. All the creepy suspenseful vibe that was found in the original is lost. We know have Nicholas Cage running around and bleating “Rowan!” he sounds like he’s been dentist and anaesthetic hasn’t worn off. I don’t even know why he runs, he’s only a small island he might as well just walk. This film is dedicated to punk legend Johnny Ramone, I for one want to apologise to you Johnny sorry that this piece of shit has your name stapled to it. No one would mind if you rise from the grave and murder Nicholas Cage, Neil LaBute (writer and director) and anyone else involved with this film with cold blooded malicious intent.
The best thing about this film is when Nicholas Cage is attacked by bees, and its not a horror moment it’s just funny. The thing I remember about this film is Nicholas Cage screaming “OH GOD MY EYE’s”, I empathise with Nicholas at this point because that’s what I felt like after watching this film. Here, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4MqTCIDKhU&feature=related that’s a youtube clip with the best bit of the film, watch that instead. I just saved you two hours of your life.
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