Rob Stoakes Reviews
Digimon Adventure 02
2000
Hiroyuki Kakudou
Toei Animation
Prologue
Change is a buzz word in politics that doesn’t really exist the way it claims to. It’s almost like a bizarre sub-reality. When an MP says “Our party puts forward change” the change is a change in name and face alone. David Cameron is Gordon Brown is Tony Blair is John Major. Sadly, the much is the same in media. Last Thursday, you may recall me talking about how shameless Nintendo are with their endless remaking of Super Mario 64, but they’re actually consistently innovative compared to television.
Take the beloved Power Rangers. I won’t lie and say I didn’t like Power Rangers, but it’s the same goddamn thing. Watch a Power Rangers episode today, a recent one, and I’ll bet you the only difference is Bulk and Skull. Also, if you’ve seen one Heroes episode, you’ve seen them all. Thank god, then, for Digimon Adventure 02, a TV show so inconsistent, so absolutely schizophrenic, it’s almost like one giant inconsistency. Just watching it feels a bit like a mental illness. It’s maddening, sickeningly long and full of horrid colours, such as purple hair and brown grass.
Before that, though, I’ll quickly tell you where I stand about the original Digimon series. The original series was a resoundingly horrible affair, which is a shame, because trust me; the first half of the series was FUCKING AWESOME! With a capital FUCKING AWESOME! And then it very quickly went downhill, which is odd for most long-running series. Most improve over time as the actors and the writers pin down what the overall feel of the show is, but Digimon was just weird. It started out awesome, then ten episodes later they killed the main villain of the show off.
“Shit!” The writers didn’t say but I’m pretending they did. “What now? The main threat’s dead!” So they made some really bizarre villains for the remainder of the series, including a snake, a house cat, Kefka from Final Fantasy 6, a giant Rubik’s Cube, Pinocchio, an evil tree and, and I defy you to find a more bizarre villain in the whole of fiction, robot Elvis Presley in a monkey costume.
Robot Elvis Presley in a monkey costume. I’d love to have been in the board of directors when they came up with this; it’s loopier than a loop made of lupins.
However, at least it was imaginative and even though I really didn’t like it, I watched for a long time after it stopped being good to see what boundary of madness they’d cross next. I was open to the possibility of chocolate whales with cannons for eyes. That and Joey was frigging ace. He was the best thing in the damn show. He’s barely in this show. It’s therefore rubbish.
Plot
If there’s one thing the original Digimon wasn’t brilliant at, it’s plot. It was essentially Alice in Wonderland with several Alices (Alici? Alicis? What’s the plural?) and monsters instead of whimsy. This new one is proud to be completely different, seeing as all the new characters adjust to the conditions of the Digital World fairly quickly. The basic plot is that there’s this digital world that kids end up being dragged to to fight evil with their Digimon, little monsters they own to fight for them and definitely aren’t Pokemon by any stretch of the imagination.
However, this series assumes you saw the original, and therefore understand all the facts about the Digimon World and the kids who are called the DigiDestined (don’t laugh yet) and the fact the Digimon can Digivolve (not like in Pokemon, they Evolve, which isn’t Digivolving at all) and all the other Techno babble that goes with it, so basically every other line will sound like this to newbies; “Let’s go get the Maguffin from the Sciencelogistical Hydrosplastic Bibble Babble blurrrrr.”
The real plot is that there’s this mega nerd trying to take over the Digital World with giant black phallic symbols and these kids are trying to stop him. Personally, I think punching the great nerd won’t be too hard. Then later he stops being evil but still a bellend and they basically have to fight evil Digimon after evil Digimon until they stop fighting evil Digimon. Oh, Digimon, it’s as if you’ve never left us.
Hi, I’m Davis, and I’m here to sell you the latest craze, the delicious yet deadly Knife Melon! Use it to make fruit smoothies, cut down a tree, shave, make Knife Melon crumble, cut up some bitches, all with the new Knife Melon!
However, that’s not really telling you how bafflingly inconsistent the damn show is. The original had a rather simple, unoriginal but effective structure, with one episode focusing on a particular character and two general episodes, one at the beginning and one at the end, to introduce each character without cluttering the exposition. They did this a second time to show how the characters had changed and grew up. This helped cement the characters and their complex emotions and lasted a good chunk of the series. In this series, it’s all done in the first three episodes.
The rest of the series consists of the character leaping from real world to digital world like a kangaroo on amphetamines to the most inconsistent geography ever. I know variety is the spice of life and in the original series I got tired of the same damn trees, but this show just seems weird. Explain to me how we can go from windswept tundra to a lush rainforest to the city in Bladerunner to a volcano. I don’t know if this is bad editing, bad writing, bad designing or what, but it’s mental.
Later on, in the last half, it becomes especially mad. This villain from the first series comes back in the last five episodes! This means that a butt-ton of exposition has to be rammed into the show to justify all the insane madness that’s come before, especially getting rid of all the previously established villains. Its crazy rushed and the way they beat him is plain old odd. There are these kids with seeds in them that can kill him by feeling good or some shit like that. It’s sort of like the latter parts of the previous series, where they’d run around desperately tying up loose ends.
Acting/Characters
The acting is…
… is…
… it’s a kids anime.
If you’ve ever seen one, you’ll know what I mean. Everybody speaks with no gaps between sentences, so dialogue is like “It’s odd I couldn’t move the egg with the crest of courage on it but somehow Davies did I think it’s a good idea to go to the Digimon World and wreck havoc in somewhereville” and this happens not just in their own sentences, but with the other characters so the whole conversation can go by in a blur.
“Well Tai yes Davies where are we I don’t know but I think we’re quite close to our destination oh goodie lets discuss goggles ok then wait who’s Tai I don’t know oh bummer we’ve entered a joint existential crisis oh no a spiralling vortex that has been summoned noooooooooo!”
And this isn’t a problem with the new actors for the new characters. The old actors have this issue, which is weird. I know it’s been… no, it hasn’t been long. The original series ended the same year and they hadn’t improved after 54 episodes of this? The only half decent actor is the DigiEmperor, the first major villain, and, well…
… yeah, he’s not exactly Darth Vader.
The other characters are pretty forgettable. However, before I get onto the main five characters, let me talk about the original characters from the first series. This series really didn’t know what to do with them for a long while. They sort of aren’t there but they really aren’t. Eventually, only Tai and Izzy from the original make a real difference, and they’re both just there to either be editors of the well known newspaper The Daily Exposition or the butt of “Tai’s a moron, Izzy’s a nerd” jokes, BECAUSE THEY WERE SO FUCKING THE TWENTY THOUSAND TIMES WE HEARD THEM IN THE LAST FUCKING SERIES!
So the main five characters are Davies, TK, Kari, somebody else and Mr Spock. Honest to god, the one with the glasses and her little brother have absolutely no characteristics what-so-ever. And, even though TK and Kari were in the last series, they weren’t exactly the most memorable of characters, and growing up clearly has done bugger all to them. And the villains, even the pre-requisite “tragic figure” ones are so bananas and maniacal they could grow moustaches and wear top hats and nothing will have changed. I think one even does go “MWUH HA HA HA HA!” at some point.
This is why Davies is easily the most memorable character of the main five DigiDestined as they call themselves with a completely straight face. Personally, it’d go to my head very quickly and I’d turn evil and try to conquer all existence. Davies doesn’t, sadly, but he’s still a character rather than a plot device. It is a shame that he’s a wise-cracking, misogynistic, stubborn, arrogant, moronic bellend who can’t go ten seconds without making a cringe-worthy attempt to get into Kari’s undergarments with all the subtly of a rock slide made of screaming floating heads. Something’s wrong when this prick is my favourite human character.
AW MAH GAAAAAAWWWWWWWDDDDDDD! MAAAHH JAAAWWWW’S BEN DESLAAAWWWCAAAAATEHD!!!
Then there’s the Poke-errrrrr I mean Digimon. There’s… errmm, the red one. Yeah, I don’t know. Finally there’s that yellow badger, who is always sleeping and that’s about it. Their Digivolved forms (cough cough not a Pokemon rip off cough cough) are pretty much the same, with some red egale unicorn whatever and a big yellow moron. The other Digimon is Veemon and his Digivolved form is Flamedramon. Now let me say something in this show’s favour. Veemon is a hard-arse muthafucka.
I’m dead serious. If you want a good example, look to Episode 4. Veemon gets the shit kicked about of him by a weird vegetable that’s obsessed with making horrible food puns. Maces are wailing and smacking him like a steak tenderiser… oh god, now I’m doing it. Anyway, he chucks them around like a ragdoll and he just takes it, then gets up and tries to punch it out. He’s always doing insanely badass stuff like this, and it’s awesome. He’s like the Red Ranger in Lightspeed Rescue; he’s just all over kickass. Let it be known all along the globe, Veemon is hardcore.
Cinematography and/or Animation
The animation is AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Dear lord, the animation is horrible. Let’s face it, the majority of it is moving a certain part of the animation from one side of the room to the other using the Motion Tweens in Adobe Flash. This makes Noggin the Nog look like Fantasia. They might as well do the entire thing with finger puppets.
And then there’s the art style. Look below. Just look. The heads are absurdly huge and the eyes are almost disgustingly awkward. I know its anime and it almost all looks like that, but this is just hideous. And the colours… urgh, the colours. Purple rocks, a pink sky. I think this is what being colour blind is like.
Come play with us. Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.
I’m not kidding, Kari has that weird glazed look in her eyes that says that she’s either just died or is staring into the void of reality only to find out that there is no further truth beyond that which they know and that countless wars are simply irrelevant and that her whole life and existence is a mere whim of fate.
And TJ looks as if he’s swapped consciousnesses with Harry from David Lynch’s Eraserhead. I think the Lady in the Radiator is singing in his head. And on a side note, what’s with the bucket?
Other Notes
Almost all the dialogue in this show that isn’t during a fight scene or exposition is jokes. Well, joke is a bad word for it, seeing as the jokes are in a bizarre alternative state. When they try to be funny, it’s hideous, and yet when they make a small wry statement, it’s bloody hilarious. I actually think that the Western writers of this show knew what they were doing was dribble, so they just had fun with it. There are some great moments were they’ll take the jokes from the original Japanese and then immediately annihilate them with an almost fourth wall breaking statement.
Take this situation. Gatomon, a little cat-like thing, makes an incredibly unfunny joke about why they call the aerials on top of television rabbit ears (named so because of their shape) rather than cat ears (because she’s a cat HONK HONK). I’m guessing that in the original, Kari says some god awful punch line, why in the Western version, she just says “Is this seriously what you think about?” That cheered me up immensely. Then there’s the stuff about the characters joking about the Japanese animators. During an explosion, Davies rather hilariously shouts “WHY HAVEN’T I PUT MY GOGGLES ON?!” If you want a laugh from this show outside of ripping on it, look for the smaller, background jokes like that. Or just wait for the scene where Matt punches Tai for no reason. It’s amazing to watch.
Final Word
So, boys and girls, newsflash, this show’s utter rubbish! The animation’s shoddy, the plot’s absurd and the characters are either complete pricks or completely forgettable and the latter half goes absolutely snooker loopy and is absolutely appalling.
You know. Like the first series. However, I haven’t even got to the weirdest bit, which is this; I had an absolute whale of a time watching the first few episodes
I’m dead serious. This show is great fun for the first part of the series. Stop early, though, because it quickly becomes a chore. However, like the first series, the first arc is great. There are five redeeming features:
1) The fun factor. This is back when the apocalypse isn’t happening (yeah, it happens). The writers are having a whale of a time with a simple premise, and the premise is actually pretty good. Big spires controlling monsters for evil nerd, so heroes destroy spires. They could’ve, and should’ve, made the entire series out of that. And the wry jokes are actually pretty clever, at least for a kid’s show.
2) This show is GREAT for ripping. If you are going to watch the entire series rather than take my advice, watch it with friends. You could make so many jokes it’s insane. The Mystery Science Theatre 3000 would’ve loved this show. It’s just insanity piled on without end, and it’s great to sit and joke your way through.
3) The picture below. Prepare yourself for absolute madness.
I wish I could make this shit up.
4) For all the show’s faults, it’s never something you’ve seen before. It’s so weird and stupid, but it’s also brilliantly original. Some might say too original, what with having enough ideas for several series crammed into just one, but it’s glorious to see a kids show truly stand out like this. Even at the worst and most boring of times, the show is just wacky and fantastically mad, and it’s one hell of a hook. Even when you actively hate the show, you still watch it for some odd reason. It’s bloody addictive, that’s what it is..
5) Davis and Veemon. I’m not kidding when I say that these characters in my opinion could’ve carried the entire series by themselves. They were great fun to watch. They’re the show-stealers. They are hugely entertaining and surprisingly, their ideas and personalities are the more exciting. Sure, sneaking about, being clever, making friends and the heart of the cards is fine and dandy, but Davis and Veemon just ran around tearing shit up, and really that’s what I wanted to see. I take back all the nasty things I have to say about Davis, because in the end, he’s one hell of a show to watch, as is Veemon.
VEEMON FOR PRESIDENT!!!
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